Recreate Me
by RBabe500
Summary: When they were younger, Seto and Jou were close friends. But something happened that caused Seto to pull away from Jou. Years later in high school, a new sort of relationship begins to form between the two.
1. Prologue

^___^ I'm back with another story! Yay! ^____^  
  
Title: Recreate Me  
  
Author: Rbabe500...But you can call me Talon. ^^  
  
Disclaimer: I dun own Yu-Gi-Oh. Still. Despite my many attempts to steal it. Which resulted in me getting in some trouble. Which is the REAL reason why this is my first story in a few months. Honest. It had nothing to do with a lack of inspiration! Honest!  
  
Warnings: First off, this is a fic involving male/male relationships. Don't like, don't read. Second, this is a Seto/Jou fic. Again, don't like, don't read. Third, um......I dun think I have a 3rd thing..... ;_;  
  
Um.....Yeah.....This is just the (very short) prologue, from either Jou OR Seto's point of view. Could be either. *I* know which one it is, cause I wrote it. But it can really be whichever one you like. It doesn't matter THAT much to the story. I think. I wouldn't know. I haven't written much of the next chapter yet...... x_x  
  
So.....um.....yeah......  
  
~Prologue~  
  
Oh gods......Is it possible that he looks more beautiful than before? He is always gorgeous, but today.......He shines more than ever.  
  
Is it how he did his hair? Is it something he's wearing?  
  
Why can't I stop staring at him?  
  
What I wouldn't give to, just once, place my hand on his flawless cheek. Just once. Just once to lean in and kiss him. To know what it's like to feel his lips against mine. To know what he tastes like.  
  
.......Just once......  
  
I don't think I've ever even touched him. Not his hand, not his shoulder, not his arm......Nothing.  
  
Never once has his skin touched mine.  
  
Will it ever?  
  
Classes are so hard. We have so many together. And throughout the whole thing, I have to force my head to stay facing forward; I cannot allow myself to look at him.  
  
When he's there, I try to forget him, to pretend he's not there, so that I can concentrate on my work.  
  
But when he really isn't there, I can't forget him. He haunts me.  
  
He invades my thoughts.  
  
.I hate it......  
  
I hate feeling this way.  
  
I want him to disappear.  
  
I don't want to think like this.  
  
I want to be normal.  
  
I want to spend my days fantasizing about girls. Not about boys. And not about him......  
  
......And his perfect lips. And his perfect body. And how perfect it would feel to be held in his arms.  
  
......How perfect it would feel to be loved by him.......  
  
...I want to be the one to make him smile. He is so beautiful when he smiles. His face lights up. When it's a real, genuine smile, his eyes shine. Really truly shine. You can see his happiness in his eyes.  
  
I want to be the reason for that happiness. I want to make him smile. I want to make him shine.  
  
......And yet, I don't. Because at the end of the day, he is a boy. And I am a boy. And so it must be wrong.  
  
It's so hard sometimes. What would he think of me if he knew? Would he be appalled? Disgusted? Nauseated?  
  
Would he think me a monster?  
  
Would he avoid me at all costs? Never let me near him again? Never let me *look* at him again?  
  
Would he hate me?  
  
Would he hate me like I hate myself?  
  
Would he hate me like I hate him?  
  
Because I truly do........I hate him. And I hate myself.  
  
I love him, but I hate loving him. And so I try to hate him. But I hate hating him. I just can't learn to hate him........because I love him.  
  
It's so complicated........  
  
Love always it, I suppose......If this is love. It's not a crush. A crush doesn't last for almost a year. A crush doesn't hurt this much inside.  
  
A crush doesn't make you cry at night. A crush doesn't cause your pillow to be soaked night after night with wet, salty tears.  
  
A crush goes away.  
  
He won't.  
  
~End Prologue~  
  
So there you go. I hope it was okay. It's been a while since I've written anything, so I might be kinda out of it.  
  
Next chapter will actually have a plot. Sorta. I hope. x_x  
  
The thing is, I read a lot of fanfiction here. And as much as I LOVE most of the stories, what I've found is, that for almost all of the ones that involve same-sex relationships, no one ever really deals with the issue that the characters are obviously homosexual. And that's always bothered me. Cause you have these characters being like, "Oh my god.....I like another guy." But it never goes farther than that. They just accept their feelings.  
  
And there's nothing wrong with stories like this. I write them, myself. They're fun and fluffy. And sometimes angsty, which is always good.  
  
But as time went on, I really wanted to see a story that was REAL, for lack of a better word. A story where this new discovery hinders the character's ability to be in love.  
  
So I wrote this. It's going to have fluff, and all that other good stuff, but it's also going to be REAL, as Seto and Jou deal with this new realization of, Oh god, I'm gay.  
  
I dunno. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm trying to write something TOO real. Maybe people don't want to read stuff like this.  
  
I wouldn't know.  
  
I just know that this story is going to draw on my personal experience a lot, and it means something to me. And if I get a lot of reviews, great. If I don't, fine. Yeah, I'll be disappointed, but I'll still write this story. Just because *I* want to.  
  
So yeah. Now that I've done my little ramble and stuff, time for the begging.  
  
Please review! I'll give you a cookie! And a Seto or Jou plushie! Or both! Or whoever you want! The ever-sexy Bakura? Malik? The adorable Yugi?  
  
Hehe.....  
  
I 3 reviews.  
  
x_x  
  
~TaLoN~ 


	2. Now I'm On Display

Title: Recreate Me  
  
Author: Rbabe500  
  
Disclaimer: Still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. ;_; How depressing......  
  
Warnings: This story will (eventually) contain male/male relationships. Don't like, don't read.  
  
Author's Notes: Sorry I've taken so long to update...School and work have kept me uber busy. But I finally got around to finishing up this chapter.  
  
This chapter is basically a flashback to when Seto first met Jou. I apologize if I got his age wrong; I don't remember how old Seto was when he was adopted. If anyone knows, please tell me, and I'll fix it.  
  
Thanks to the people who reviewed my short, rather crappy prologue! *hands out cookies shaped like Yu-Gi-Oh characters*  
  
Lone Wolf55: Thanks.....Sorry I didn't exactly update soon. x_x  
  
Dillon: Thanks! First time someone's said something I wrote was strong. ^_^ I feel happy now.  
  
yuki44: I hope it'll be an awesome fic.....I make no promises though... ^^;;  
  
Silver Mist4: Eep...I didn't mean for it to be sad...Just real. But hey, sad works. Hooray for sad stuff! x_x  
  
Chapter 1 "Now I'm On Display"  
  
I slouched down in my seat, watching with envy as the other students talked and hugged, reunited after a summer apart.  
  
I didn't know anyone. I was the typical "new kid." The kid that everyone looks at, whispers about, makes guesses about. I could have fought it. I could have walked up to a group of kids and introduced myself. But I was too shy. So I simply watched in envy as smiles and hugs were passed around, and cheerful conversations filled the classroom.  
  
I was seven. It was the first day of 2nd Grade. And I was thrown into a new world, a world of public school. Up until that point, I had lived in an orphanage, where everyone knew everyone. I had had no friends there, but the fact that I knew almost everyone gave me a sense of security, of acceptance.  
  
Here though, I felt truly alone.  
  
I was so entranced by watching the others have fun that I didn't notice another boy slide into the seat next to me. I didn't even hear him the first time he said, "Hi." I was too busy wishing I were anywhere but this school where I knew no one.  
  
A tap on my shoulder jolted me out of my thoughts. "Hey? You okay?"  
  
I snapped my head around to face the boy. "Huh?"  
  
He flashed me a wide smile. "You looked kinda lonely over here. I asked if you were okay."  
  
I attempted a shaky smile in return. "I'm okay."  
  
"You're new here, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Do you need someone to show you around?"  
  
"Um.....I guess so.."  
  
He flashed me another smile. "Cool! My name's Jonouchi, by the way."  
  
"I'm Seto."  
  
Our conversation got no farther. Louder than all of the students' voices ran our teacher's voice.  
  
"Students! Let's settle down now! Please find a seat so that I can take attendance and give you your assigned seats for the year!"  
  
A groan filled the classroom, but slowly, everyone found a seat and settled down.  
  
The classroom was set up with five tables, with four chairs at each table. Jonouchi and I already occupied two seats, and another boy slid into one the remaining two. The other remained empty.  
  
The other boy flashed a wide smile at Jonouchi. "Hey, Jou! Haven't seen you all summer! How come you never called me back all the times I left messages with your dad?"  
  
Jonouchi scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, see, about that....I meant ta call you back, but-"  
  
He trailed off. The other boy laughed, and Jonouchi, or Jou as his friends obviously called him, joined in the laughter.  
  
Jou lightly punched me on the arm. Looking at the other boy, he tilted his head toward me. "Hey Honda, this is Seto. He's new, so we gotta teach him the ropes around here."  
  
The one who had asked Jonouchi about the phone calls grinned at me. "Hey, Seto. I'm Honda. Welcome to Domino Elementary School! Too bad you got mixed up with Jou so early in the year...He's a trouble-maker."  
  
I smiled back, a little bolder than I had earlier. "Thanks."  
  
Jounochi's jaw dropped at reference to being a troublemaker. "Me? A troublemaker? Never!"  
  
Honda laughed. I even managed to chuckle a bit.  
  
Our laughter was cut short by the sight of our teacher walking toward our table, a not-too-pleased look on her face.  
  
"Honda Hiroto and Jonouchi Katsuya. Why am I not surprised that you two are starting off the year by talking when I'm talking? Is this year going to be a repeat of last year?" she asked, one eyebrow raised.  
  
The two boys remained silent, shooting looks at each other and fighting back grins. Then the teacher turned her gaze toward me. "Seto Kaiba, correct?" she asked.  
  
I nodded, worried. It was too early in the school year for me to be in trouble!  
  
"If I were you," she continued, "I would stay away from these two." She pointed at Jou and Honda. "If you want to have an enjoyable year and not get into trouble that is.....Because trouble seems to follow these boys like a bad stench."  
  
Despite her obvious annoyment at having to interrupt her class to reprimand us, our teacher had a look of amusement on her face as she walked back to her desk.  
  
Jou and Honda grinned at me, and for the first time that day, I smiled a true smile.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
From that point on, the three of us were inseparable. Behind our backs, we often heard teachers calling us The Three Musketeers. We wore the name proudly. Jou and Honda accepted me as if they had known me all my life. For the first time ever, I truly had friend. And for the first time in my life, I was truly happy.  
  
I should have known it wouldn't last.  
  
~End Chapter 1~  
  
Sorry it's short...When I write the next chapter, I'll try to make it longer and more interesting.  
  
Review please! Feed a starving author! (This is my first update on ff.net in months...I miss getting reviews......)  
  
I'll try to update soon. It's Christmas vacation now, so I have two weeks to work on stories and stuff. Hopefully I'll write a few chapters and put them up before the middle of January.  
  
~Talon~ 


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